Chapter II
FRAILING
Freyling is a very charming human relations technique. Do you want to learn how to influence people to succeed? This is the least efficient and highly questionable way to do it. You don't have to pressure the world around you to achieve your goals. You will find that the world itself comes to you with open arms. People feel inexplicable sympathy for you.
Give up the intention to receive, replace it with the intention to give, and you will get what you gave up.
Relationship Intention
We are accustomed to measure the success of our life, on the one hand, the level of achievements, and on the other - the volume of accumulated problems. Transurfing helps not to fight with problems and even not so much to solve them, but simply not to meet them. Goals are achieved again in a non-trivial way - with the help of external intention. All problems and achievements, one way or another. in one way or another, are born in relationships with people, whether they are personal relationships or business relationships.
The question arises: can external intention be used in relationships with people? The difficulty is that it is something elusive, difficult to bend to the will and control. However, there are methods that allow you to trigger its mechanism implicitly. You simply use a certain technique, and the external intention begins to work by itself,
independent of anyone's will, but in your favor.
What drives people? Internal intention. So use their intention instead of using your own. instead of using your own. Give up yours and allow the external intention to trigger the internal intention of others. To get what you want from the outside world, the outer intention only needs to wiggle its little finger because it doesn't want or do anything itself, but lets the inner, world-tuned intention work. Use people's inner intention to achieve your goals.
Despite the self-serving connotation of the sound of this phrase, you are not using people, you are simply keeping them from doing what they want to do. All problems, in one way or another, are born out of contradictions between people's inner intentions. One, guided by his own interests, wants to achieve something from the other. The other, in turn, thinks differently and and wants to get his own way. How to balance the difference in interests and satisfy the needs of both? It's a difficult task, isn't it? In fact, the task is very simple. To solve it, you just need to identify the common ground that lies at the heart of people's inner intention.
Well, at the heart of a person's inner intention is their sense of self worth. The only thing that drives man and at the same time limits his freedom in the pendulum world is inner and outer importance. The sense of one's own importance relates to inner importance. Pendulums, as energy-informational entities, are generated by groups of people and begin to exist independently, subordinating people to their laws. Subordination is realized through the mediation of the feeling of importance. Therefore, the greatest part of human motivations lies in the field of realization of own importance. The remaining part belongs to the freile, i.e., the dictates of the soul. This small part, as a rule, is poorly developed, because it is drowned out by the constant need to maintain one's importance in the world of pendulums.
To trigger the mechanism of external intention in relationships with people, you will have to crack another false stereotype. You may often hear such a seemingly correct call, “Don't try to change others, start with yourself.” This immediately causes mental discomfort: it means that I am imperfect, it means that I need to change myself, but I don't want to! And rightly so, you don't want to. You should not try to change others, but you should not try to change yourself either. Whatever you do to yourself or others, all this will be ineffective and harmful work of your inner intention. The problem is solved in another way. You have to let others realize your inner intention. Then the external intention will work, and your inner intention will be realized by itself.
For example, a woman wants her man to marry her, but for some unknown reason he makes excuses. Working with the inner intention, the woman directs all her thoughts to make him marry. In this way she will not achieve anything, but only create an excessive potential of her desire and the importance of marriage. As a result, the equilibrium forces will take her chosen one away from her. Maybe he just didn't love? Of course he didn't. After all, the woman has turned love into
a relationship of dependency: “If you love me, you'll marry me.”
In order for the external intention to work, a woman needs to give up the desire to marry and ask herself what a man wants in a marriage. She will find the answer to this question without difficulty. He undoubtedly wants to realize his set of values: I am loved, I am valued, respected, admired, and so on. Directing her energy to the realization of these values, the woman will not only achieve her goal, but will also get the realization of similar values in herself. And if he does not deserve to be respected and loved? Then why bother with him at all? Everyone has the freedom of choice.
As you can see, there's no need to change yourself. The whole point is that the open vent is in a completely different place. A person, as a rule, is completely absorbed in thoughts about what he wants to achieve from others, but does not try to determine what they want. By shifting your attention to the desires and motives of others, you can easily get what you need. To do this, all you have to do is ask yourself: what is the partner's inner intention? This means
to fly away from the glass and finally see the open window. As soon as this is done, you only need to redirect your inner intention to the realization of your partner's inner intention. In this way, your inner intention will be transformed into an outer intention.
Very often the inner intention is to draw attention to oneself and to present oneself in a better light. Let's say you are preoccupied with something that just isn't working out. Imagine going to a party. So, there the invitees will immediately switch their attention only to you and will follow you all the time. After all, they are gathered only to discuss how you dress, how you move, what you talk about. If you hear laughter in any group, it means they are laughing at you. And how many disdainful looks you catch! I sympathize.
Surely you've realized that all of this should be understood in reverse. All people are preoccupied first of all with themselves and the attitude of others to their person. And their attitude to others - in the last place. Therefore, you can relax, calm down and hold freely. Do not try to hold naturally, but just allow yourself to be natural and at ease.
It should be noted that if you set yourself the goal of keeping at ease, you will not succeed. Of course, you can achieve something with the help of slides. But it will take some time, and the party is scheduled today. The only way to achieve casualness is to remove the importance. But it's not easy to drop the importance either. You can not just take and give up the desire to present yourself in the best light.
The way out of this situation is very simple. A person when communicating with you is primarily interested in attention to his own person. You can not doubt that people are busy exclusively with themselves. Occupy and you them. Shift your attention from yourself to people. Activate your Caretaker and stop playing the game of making yourself more important. Play the game of making other people more important. Take an interest in them, listen to them, observe them. No need to ingratiate yourself, just go with the flow. Once you shift your attention from yourself to others, the excessive potential for self-importance will disappear by itself. That's when it will be possible to behave at ease.
In order to attract attention to themselves, it is enough just to show interest in others. Talk to people not about what interests you, but about what interests them, including about themselves. In this case, your inner intention will be transformed into an external one. People around you will be interested in such an interlocutor immediately, they will simply have nowhere to go from your external intention - it always works in a completely inscrutable way. It is useless to try to interest others in your specialty - this is an inner intention. To be interested in others is external. By abandoning the inner intention and shifting your attention to other people, you will effortlessly get the desired result from them. External intention will do it for you.
It would seem that how can it happen that I am interested in other people and thereby arouse their attention to me? Well, I will be curious, but will it make me more interesting? The point is that even if you are a thousand times more attractive than you are, all people are always preoccupied first of all with their own person, and last of all with the others. You yourself, trying to attract attention to themselves, thinking only about themselves. When interest is shown to a person, he gets the realization of his inner intention. Where does this realization come from? From you, of course. After that, who can interest him now? Only you.
People are interested in famous personalities, screen and pop stars. But it's a different kind of interest. If you are not a star, you are seen as a potential partner for a relationship - business, comradeship or love. Take, for example, the most extreme case of celebrity infatuation. Fans are interested in all the details of the star's life, worship her, but as a rule, it does not occur to them to consider the star as a partner for a relationship. What matters in a domestic relationship is not how interesting you are, but how suitable you are for the person in question for a relationship. That's what he's evaluating.
Thinking about himself and being around, this person consciously and unconsciously assesses how well you fit into the scenario of a relationship in which he will receive satisfaction with his own person. Such satisfaction a person gets if his importance is confirmed in one form or another: I like me, I am interested in me, I am not an empty place, I am respected, I am not worse than others, I am appreciated.
Now consider for yourself, what you will achieve, if in one case you impose a person
Being interested in people, do it sincerely. Don't let it be clear that you know techniques to get their favor or have any self-interest. If you claim to be in their favor. favor, they are at least worthy of your sincere participation.
Many, in an effort to gain a reputation as an interesting conversationalist, trying to make themselves in the best possible light. in the best possible light: how smart I am, how much I've seen and experienced. This is the work of inner intention. Most people do exactly that when they want to appear interesting. Take a step away from this homogeneous formation and adopt a different stance. Set the goal not to make yourself appear an engaging conversationalist, but to allow your partner to appear interesting. Tune into his frequency and listen carefully, asking questions and showing your interest in your partner's topic and personality. You can communicate for several hours in such a way that it will be mostly him talking. By the end of the conversation, your partner will be absolutely convinced that he has met a very interesting interlocutor and a wonderful person in general.
This is how your external intention works. It allows the inner intention of others to be realized. As a result, you get what you gave up. You gave up exposing your own personality and allowed the personality of another to be revealed. Once you have done this, that other becomes your fan because you have allowed him to realize his inner intention. He will not be able to get anything like that from any star.
So what if you want to interest a person who does not consider you as a partner for communication? For example, you need him to accept your business proposal, but he doesn't want to. He is simply not interested. Then even more you can count on his interest only if you forget about yourself and your business and direct all your attention only to him. Sincerely interested in everything that is interesting to this person, talk to him about it. Only then he will show interest in your problem.
You may ask: why should I listen to others, be interested in them, pay attention to them, love them, respect them, while they are busy only with themselves and do not want to listen to me? Well, why should they be interested and delighted in you, love and respect you? All that you have imagined about yourself - that I am like this and this is how I am compared to them - is just a fiction. of inner intention, clothed in the excessive potential of dependency and importance. Your inner intention is to be significant. You will only truly become significant in the eyes of others if you give up your inner intention and allow the inner intention of others to be realized. Your advantage is that you use your outer intention and they use the opposite. Use your advantage.
In general, when you want to get something from a person, you can use one universal principle. Its essence is to abandon the inner intention to receive and replace it with the intention to give. It is done very simply.
Do you want to get recognition and respect from a person? Do not demand respect for yourself. Respect the person yourself, make them feel significant in your eyes. Do you need sympathy and gratitude? Don't look for it. Take sincere care and participation in the person's problems. Do you seek sympathy? You will not get it for the pretty eyes. Show sympathy to a person yourself, then you will be sympathetic to him by definition. Need
First determine the needs of the person, what he seeks, what he lacks: money, power, respect of others, satisfaction from a well-done job, care of children, prestige, position in the team, fame in society, and so on. All these things are variations on the theme of one's own importance.
Every person ends up feeling bad about himself if he is of little value in this world. If he is nothing, if he has little to depend on, he tends to increase
his own importance. Achieving some result, a person sets new tasks for himself, the bar of his own importance rises. So a person spends his whole life in pursuit of inner importance. There is nothing wrong in it. You can not condemn anyone for his desire to be significant. Everyone achieves it in his own way, but everyone tries. On the contrary, if a person has stopped in his development and does not want anything, it is already bad. But this is rarely the case. Usually a person strives for something, as a rule, something does not suit him in the position he occupies in the world around him.
So determine how the work done will increase his sense of self-importance. And then present the man with the task in light of the increase in his importance. Allow the man to raise it, and he will want to do it himself. When he does, generously appreciate him for his worth.
Guided by this principle, you can easily induce others to act in your own best interest. Inwardly, you are trying to get them to do it or beg them to do it. With external intention, you simply express your desire: let things work out in your favor. To realize the external intention you need to arrange so that people, thinking about their own and doing their own thing, act in your interests. All you need to do is to wake up, distract yourself from your own interests and think about the interests of others.
For example, if you are in a trade, you are probably thinking about how to sell the goods to a given customer. He is not thinking about pleasing you by buying that product. He doesn't want to be sold to. He wants to buy. You see the difference? Everybody's trying to sell me something, but I don't want it. I want to choose what I want.
Don't think about what you want to sell. Think about what the customer wants to buy. The desire to sell is an internal intention. The external intention is directed in a completely different direction - to find out what the customer wants. You don't even have to know what product he wants to buy. If he's worried about rheumatism, and you're genuinely interested in it, suggesting a
a doctor or a remedy, he'll buy the product from you. Not because this product is the best, but because you, selling bricks, talk to the buyer about his rheumatism. This is a simplified example, but the principle it contains works perfectly.
Whenever you need to get what you want from another person or make them do something, set aside your inner intention. Ask yourself: what is this person's inner intention? Act in such a way as to facilitate the realization of their intention. Only when you are already helping the person's intention to be realized, think in passing about what you want to get from him. While realizing his intention, insert your request as if in between. Or it may happen that you do not even have to mention your own business. Everything can work itself out. This is the magic power of external intention.
An even more effective means of influencing people is to try to induce internal intention in them. Once you figure it out, it's pretty easy to do. Internal intention is almost always motivated by internal importance. Every human being, to one degree or another and in one
or in one way or another seeks to protect, emphasize, and enhance their importance. If you need to get something out of people, you just need to figure out how they can thereby increase their importance. This is called a challenge.
You can challenge a group of people, “Who's better...” Or you can play on a sense of professional honor: “Let's do it right.” You can simply appeal to an inner importance: “Let's show everyone what we're worth!” If a person has accepted this challenge in the context of their own importance, they will do your will as their own. This will be so precisely because you have abandoned your own inner intention and paid attention to the inner intention of the other person. Use the inner intention of others, not your own.
The flow of the relationship
Usually either you or your firm end up producing something that is consumed by other people. How do you encourage people to want to buy those particular products? If you think they will buy just because it is simply great, that is a fallacy. A typical mistake would be a stance of internal intention, “We create masterpieces, so people will definitely buy them.”
The position of inner intention makes a threefold mistake. First, the phrase “we create
masterpieces” emphasizes internal importance. You think your creation is perfect, so it's important to you. And if it is, you can't evaluate it objectively. After all, you are partial to it. Second, your inner intention is to sell your creation to people. They will not want to buy it, because from their point of view it is not a masterpiece at all, and someone's intention to sell it does not interest them at all. Finally, the most important mistake is to focus your internal intention on the product itself rather than on the needs of your customers. A narrow focus of internal intention will result in you creating a perfect product that no one wants. This is very often the case.
The position of external intention is to determine what people want, what they lack, what they need, what drives them, what interests them. External intention is directed by the flow of options. By engaging in producing a “masterpiece” taken from the ceiling by your own mind, you are trying to move against the flow. The mind always tends to idealize its own abilities. It is completely absorbed in the process of creation without seeing anything around it. The mind wants to control everything. But customer demand is difficult to control and always flows in its own direction. To somehow direct the flow of demand, it takes a lot of money for advertising, but it does not always work.
The mind is not able to predict the trends of demand. And you don't have to. All you need to do is keep up with the current and notice the slightest change in its direction. There is no need to invent a demand item. Almost all inventions that are ahead of their time don't get used. This is not to say that you should not create something fundamentally new at all. It is about the fact that if you expect to make a profit from a masterpiece you have created that is ahead of the current of options, then your bet will most likely be lost. Of course, if the find is truly brilliant, it could blow up the market. But that rarely happens.
Guaranteed success awaits only a venture aimed at meeting current demand. Now let's get back to the question at hand: How do you make people to want to buy your product? The answer is: you can't. To do this, if not impossible, then very difficult. With internal intention you will seek to impose your product. External intention, moving with the flow, seeks to determine what people want and what they have become saturated with. Demand is determined by the flow of options. The current of options already contains all the answers, and only it can provide a guarantee of success.
It is not without reason that many fundamental discoveries or inventions are made almost simultaneously and independently by several people. This is the phenomenon of movement of material realization in the space of variants. What must happen, happens in its own time. Leonardo da Vinci anticipated many inventions that only now have materialized in material realization.
It would seem that all of this is already so obvious. However, the mind constantly forgets and seeks to break out of the flow and subject the current to its control. I have already said that the flow of options is a luxurious gift for the mind. One must constantly remember this and take advantage of such
good fortune. Then many problems and obstacles will pass by.
A large part of the problems in human relationships is the result of the mind's struggle with the current of options. with the flow of options. Criticism is one of the manifestations of this struggle. Criticism is a direct outgrowth of inner intention. Encouragement and reliance on a person's positive qualities relate to external intention. Criticizing a person is the same as fighting the world around you. It will not pay dividends, unless one considers it a dividend to vent one's bile and annoy one's opponent. Encouragement, on the other hand, is a motivating force towards people. By blaming and criticizing a person, you are trying to influence them with your inner intention. By emphasizing his merits (no matter what), you lose nothing, but allow the situation to develop in your own favor.
Do not blame others for anything. Many people tend to blame themselves and carry guilt. But no one is inclined to tolerate reproaches to themselves by others. A person, judging himself, can even go as far as sadomasochism. However, accusations from others are always perceived painfully.
A person will feel resentment in any case, even if he is wrong and the accusation is fair. What good is it to you? To pour out your bile? But by doing so, you create excessive potential and you're gonna get hurt yourself. If the main goal is to convince a person of his wrong, you will not achieve this again. Listening to your accusations, he is unlikely to fully recognize that he is wrong, even if in words agree. Trying to accuse self-assertion at someone else's expense or to establish power, you can achieve results. But in that case you will become a manipulator.
If you have none of these goals in mind, refuse to criticize and blame. By judging and criticizing people, you are treading water and trying to swim against the current. Wave your hand at other people's faults and think only of their virtues. This is the movement along the current, and it will bring inestimable benefits.
If your Caretaker is awake, he will always help you find an explanation as to why the person you are about to condemn is doing so. The Seer, being your inner observer, will not allow you to get caught up in the game and get into an argument or quarrel. Look at the game from the outside as a spectator, remember that criticism will do nothing but harm, and go with the flow.
Accusations and criticism cannot play a positive role because they knock a person out of the rut, out of the current on which he was moving. The current was leading him to a certain goal. After all, all people are guided by their motives and aspirations. Encouraging a person (in spite of everything), you direct him in a favorable direction for yourself, without dislodging him from the current and without contradicting his aspirations. Thus, your and his desires become parallel. No one's rights are not infringed, no one's ego does not suffer, and interests become common.
Do you like criticism of yourself? You either do not tolerate this criticism, or you try to convince yourself that it is fair. In both cases, you do not accept criticism, unless, of course, you have developed a guilt complex. Criticism can spur you on, make you act “the way you should”. However, only the mind can be forced. The soul cannot be forced. It always either does what it wants to do or prevents the mind from doing what it is supposed to do. Criticism makes the soul an enemy of the mind. of reason, and encouragement makes it an ally.
Thus encouragement is a creative force and criticism is destructive,
destructive. That is why the staff for the management of enterprises are recruited so that future leaders are oriented not to criticize bad work, which can do any head-head, and were able to organize an atmosphere of enthusiasm, in which people themselves want to work well. And when this happens? When people, doing a common cause, feel their personal importance.
If you want to make enemies, argue and prove your point by all means. We have already discussed in the chapter “The Current of Options” how pointless and harmful it is to try to prove your point at any cost. If the dispute is of fundamental importance to you, when your interests really do not allow you to concede your position - argue. In other cases, leave the right to pound your hands on the water to others.
No dividends your own winnings in the polemic will not bring you. But you may well make an enemy.
you may make an enemy. If a person is confidently horny nonsense, and you make it clear to him, he will never agree with such a thing. Or, more precisely, if he has a tendency to self-abuse and a heightened sense of guilt, he may agree. But is it necessary to win over such a man? If your interests are not harmed in any way, allow others to assert what you disagree with. That way you don't create over-potentials and you don't fight the current.
Arguing people are usually head over heels in the game. They are dreaming a dreamless sleep. To prevent yourself from getting involved in the game, you need to wake up and activate your inner Caretaker. If several people are involved in the controversy, go down to the auditorium and watch the game from there. Take the role of a judicious spectator and you will gain a huge advantage. While each participant is trying to realize his inner intention, proving his point of view, you will come up with a solution that none of the disputants can see. Just don't impose this solution on everyone. The main thing is to offer, and let others break spears.
If you win the dispute, consider yourself defeated. Even if your opponents formally recognized your rightness, rest assured that in their thoughts they will find a lot of informal arguments in their favor. In any case, the loser in the dispute receives a blow to his importance. And who delivers this blow? The one who managed to insist on his point of view.
After all, you wouldn't want to punch that person in the face, would you? In the same way, you should not want to strike a blow at another's sense of self importance. It is very common for people to take such offense at each other. This offense is always covert because it is borne in silence. People don't like to openly demonstrate their desire to assert importance. It is implied that significance is already present, so no one wants to show that they are fighting for their significance, although everyone does it at every step.
If a person has received a blow to his importance and remains silent, do not think that he is not at all hurt or has accepted the blow. The offense will live on - not in the conscious mind, but in the subconscious. You have won an argument, and you think that by doing so you have increased your importance. But you did it at the expense of lowering the opponent's importance. You understand that hidden resentment, which always arises in this case, does not bring anything good. Besides, the defeated opponent will never recognize your importance.
There is one great way to turn a person against himself - to let him realize how good you are compared to him. Do not make yourself an idol and do not make yourself an enemy - this is the main slogan of the relationship downstream. Avoid, like the plague, attempts to hurt people's sense of importance. Let it become a kind of taboo. Thus you will save yourself from a lot of problems and troubles, the reasons for which will not be clear because of the hidden nature of the blow to someone else's importance.
What does the person arguing with you do? Defense of his own importance in one form or another. Meet him halfway. Agree with what he's saying. And by agreeing, you give him what he wants. Now you can talk calmly about your point of view. Not to impose, not to prove, but just to talk. In this case, you are not only moving with the flow, but you are also using external intention. As a result, you will get an unrivaled result. Such a result you will not achieve by any other intellectual tricks.
At the very beginning of a conversation with a person, you need to set yourself up so that you are both looking in the same direction. in the same direction. If the first thing that a person will answer your phrase, will be the word “no”, consider that further persuade him useless. He has turned in the other direction, and he will not move downstream with his partner. It is important to make a person say “yes” from the very beginning. Never start a conversation with sharp angles. Start with anything, as long as the interlocutor agrees with you. After that, you can smoothly transfer the conversation to controversial issues. Now there are many more chances, because you are inertially moving downstream in the same direction, and the radiation of your thoughts is not in dissonance with the radiation of the thoughts of the partner.
If you have made a blunder somewhere and expect to be fairly blamed, don't prepare to be defensive. Simply admit your mistake preemptively. The one who is about to unleash the wrath of justice on you is likely to adopt a magnanimous and condescending attitude at once. In such a case, it cannot be said that the best defense is an offense. It turns out that you agreed in advance with the line of the opponent and thus gave the green light to his inner intention. By your preemptive obedience you realize his inner intention to put you in your place and at the same time to increase
I have already said that comments from people who annoy you can be very helpful. Suggestions of others, which you at first impulse are located to meet in the bayonet, in the end turns out to be not devoid of sense. You are hurt by the comments and suggestions of others, if you yourself in some way overestimated the level of internal importance. Put aside the importance, stop resisting the current and recognize someone else's rightness or at least take note of it.
Tell that person that they were actually right when they said this and that. See the result. You could choose not to tell him or her, but do it nonetheless. After all, you have nothing to lose. Everyone makes mistakes - the fool and the smart. But unlike the former, the smart one admits his mistakes. So. So, admitting out loud that the man was right then, you will immediately get his favor.
People live in an aggressive world of pendulums, where it is necessary to defend their positions and defend themselves every minute. And here you yourself offer a person to do it for him. At this point, the problem of defending his position in relation to you is solved for this person. He is immediately relieved. He is grateful to you for helping him in the fight. You are no longer a potential adversary for him, but an ally. This whole situation is instantly replayed in your partner's mind on a subconscious level. You think the same way when you sleep in reality. But if you practice consciousness, it's easy and even fun to take on the role of witnessing someone else's rightness. When someone is right, others will remain silent, but you will admit the rightness of this person out loud. If for him this moment is of fundamental importance, he will be your debtor. In
In any case, he will be grateful, and mostly unconsciously.
Imagine what kind of jungle people live in. They need to be constantly on their guard. viewing everyone as a potential adversary, even if relations appear friendly. Everyone takes care of themselves and is in constant readiness for defense. This is not an exaggeration at all, it's just that we all got used to this state of affairs long ago.
In such an environment you will be a real find for people who are tired of fighting. Can you imagine how many allies you could gain?! And it requires nothing more than to drop your importance and not be lazy to recognize someone else's rightness. You act consciously, and that's your advantage. People are asleep, and they won't thank you. But if they could wake up and consciously express their attitude, you would hear: “This person is not stupid. I like this person. I feel favor with him.” No one would say this out loud to you and even to themselves. However, if you express a subconscious feeling, it will sound like this. People who are preoccupied and burdened with importance tend to notice nothing but it. You have a huge advantage: mindfulness, lack of importance, and attention to people. Use this advantage, and you
will see gold where others see only stones.
Tuning in on the fray
People, when communicating with each other, adjust to each other to varying degrees. Character, temperament, level of intelligence, manners and so on are taken into account. If tuning does not work, mutual understanding cannot be achieved and communication is reduced to shaking the air with words. Without tuning to the frequency of your partner, you will not achieve mutual understanding.
The term “tuning in to your partner's frequency” is purely conditional. You realize, of course, that I use such a simplified model for convenience. How exactly tuning occurs on the physical level is not important for us in principle. The point is that each person has a characteristic individual set of personality parameters - freyle.
Establishing close contact with a person, you are engaged in freyling - tuning to his parameters. The success of communication directly depends on how successfully you have managed to catch the essence of your partner's fraile. It is not as difficult as it may seem. The main condition for successful
tuning is attention to the interlocutor. Without attention, no tuning at all is out of the question. It is taken for granted, but, as a rule, in any conversation a person is concerned exclusively with his own thoughts.
A major businessman once said: “Everyone wants to offer me something, but no one asks me what I need.” People seeking to get something from others think about their problems and how they can solve them with the help of others. This is purely an internal intention. In contrast, thinking about what people want triggers the mechanism of external intention.
How do you connect what you want with what someone else wants? To do this, you must first of all consciously focus your attention on his interests. Shift your inner gaze from yourself to your interlocutor. The person will be interested in the counter question only in the context of his own problems and aspirations. Your thoughts are focused on what you want to get. But others are not interested in that at all. Does it matter to you what others want? In the same way, they think about their own concerns, and they don't care about other people's desires. Therefore, the only way to find common ground and understanding is to have a conversation with a person in the context of their own interests. You have already thought about your problem enough. Now turn your attention to the interests of your partner. Put in the basis of communication context of the intention of the partner, and your own
and put your own problem on top. For example, you want to go on vacation in August. It is necessary, you are thinking about your interests.
What's the boss thinking about? About your work, but not about your vacation. There are two ways to solve this problem. First: you come to him and start bemoaning your problems and desires. The second: you say that in September an additional amount of work is expected, so I would like to get a vacation in August and in September everything in time. Which option do you think would work? Maybe the boss would say it's okay to take a vacation in October, but most likely he would agree with you because he hears the speech on his frequency. By speaking to a person in the context of their interests, you are tuning into the frequency of the radiation of their thoughts.
If the donkey doesn't listen and doesn't want to go where you want it to go, it means that the donkey is thinking about his own things, and he is thinking about his own things. The donkey is thinking about the carrot. Show him the carrot and he will go where you want him to go. It turns out that you are placing your intention in the context of the donkey's intention. What will he have by fulfilling someone else's wish? Ask yourself this question whenever you need a person to do what you want them to do. If you have found the answer to this question, you will succeed.
To tune in to the frequency of the interlocutor, you should, first of all, listen attentively to what he wants to communicate. Unless, of course, you yourself do not want to impose your topic and point of view. In a large company, everyone is trying to say something, but it doesn't really matter because no one is listening to anyone. Sure, people can pretend to listen. But ninety percent of their attention is occupied with their own thoughts. In order to establish yourself as an interesting interlocutor, you do not need to shine wit and erudition, and it is enough just to listen attentively to the partner.
If you are indifferent to a person, but need to arouse his interest, participation, talk to him about what interests him. Forget for a while about what interests you. This is a completely different frequency. Tune in to your partner's frequency. Put yourself in his shoes. By doing this, you will understand what drives the person, you will know the reason why he or she acts the way he or she does, you will understand his or her point of view. When you tune in to his frequency, you can smoothly move on to the questions that interest you.
The first and easiest clue to a person's frequency is his name. You can't ignore the fact that from birth a person perceived the address to himself by name. Use his name in conversation more often, and it will have an effect. Addressing by name serves as a kind of password that communicates that you go with friendly intentions and recognize the importance
of the person.
Every person maintains a protective field to some degree at all times. that protects their value. You will not be able to tune into your partner's frequency if they are surrounded by a protective wall of officialdom or distrust. This obstacle can sometimes be removed with disarming directness. If you yourself show that you do not hold the protective shield of your importance and do not intend to attack, the partner will also lower his or her protective screen. But the most effective way to remove any dividing wall is to show your genuine sympathy for the person.
The most effective way to remove any dividing wall is to show your genuine sympathy for the person.
Why do we love our pets? Because they always genuinely let us know they are happy to see us. They wag their tails, purr, jump, squeal, and express their delight in every possible way. There are other less sociable living creatures, such as aquarium fish. But such creatures do not inspire love - they are like plants or part of the interior. The ones we love seem to say to us, “I don't need anything from you, I'm just very happy to see you.” This is one of the main reasons why we love our pets.
In your interactions with people, if you want to inspire sympathy, let people know you're happy to see them. You don't have to express doggy delight. It is enough to smile, say hello with enthusiasm, call by name, listen attentively. And if you behave like an aquarium fish, then the attitude will be corresponding.
The mechanism here is very simple. On a subconscious level, your partner will think: “I met a man who is happy to see me. It means that I am not an empty place, I mean something in this world. This person carries a confirmation of that. What a nice and sympathetic person!"
Attention and participation must be sincere. There is nothing more vulgar than participation elevated to etiquette. People put on a smile as an attribute. It is no longer a smile, but something like a tie. They're used to asking each other, “How are you?” - and expect the standard answer. An answer that deviates from the expected one is perceived as an anomaly. No one cares about other people's problems. So why ask such a question?
When communicating with a person, you can get into resonance with them by emitting energy at their characteristic frequency. Every person has a resonance frequency - his “horse”. This is something he is particularly passionate about, interested in, proud of. His limb is a string ringing at the resonant frequency. If you managed to determine what is his passion, talk to him about it, Let him talk out with your help. It's the most effective way to build rapport. By grasping this thread, you can easily get a man to yourself.
You can easily win the favor of a person, if you ask him to help you out of some difficulty or do not burdensome favor. By asking your partner for a favor, you give up your importance, and you increase his. He feels more significant, if you let him know that you need his help, and provide an opportunity to show themselves, emphasize their importance.
This person, having rendered the required service, will next to you feel the need for himself, and therefore you will surely win his favor. The feeling of self-importance is very expensive. The one to whom you give it to feel, will not forget such generosity for the rest of his life. Agree, because you yourself still gratefully remember those who appreciated your merits.
It may seem to you that I exaggerate the sense of a person's importance. Indeed, from the outside, it looks as if every person behaves like an important bird. Nevertheless, significance does play a crucial role in people's behavior and motivation. In your opinion, what action on the part of others can hurt a person the most? When he will be ignored, insulted, beaten, injured? No, the most severe injury a person will receive is when they are humiliated.
After life proper, there is nothing more important to a person than significance. The strongest lust after physical lust is the lust for power. Of course, this is the highest and last degree of the struggle for significance. Not all people's struggle for significance develops into this form. But you must agree that if a person has absolutely everything, all he has to do is to pursue power. Nothing excites as much as power. From here you can conclude for yourself what role the sense of self importance plays in human behavior and motivation.
Any criticism deals a blow to a person's self worth. It is a kind of anti-freeling. Never tell people directly that they are wrong. Even if you are sure you are right, it is always more beneficial to remain neutral. Then you will not strike a blow to the person's importance, and protect yourself from the action of the equilibrium forces.
It is also possible to cause quite sensitive damage to a person, if you hurt his negative slide. The slide is held on a film of importance, so by hitting the slide, you are hitting a sensitive person. A negative slide is when a person doesn't like something about themselves. As you know, a person with a negative slide tends to hide it from themselves and project it onto others. But
try to make a counter-accusation, that is, to give the projection back, and you will see what a violent reaction will follow. A person will never recognize someone else's rightness and will become your worst enemy. So it is better not to even touch someone else's negative slides. And certainly not to try to explain to a person that he has a slide in his head.
The most accurate adjustment to a person's freyle is, of course, falling in love. How and why this happens is very difficult, if not impossible, to explain. So much has already been said on this subject. In order to achieve mutual love, one must give up the right of possession and simply love without counting on anything. You can keep love if you do not turn it into a relationship of dependence. But to fall in love, there is nothing you can do. That's all I can add.
Thus, I have outlined the basic principles of freelancing. As you may have noticed, the distinction between intentional and flow relationships is purely conventional. Flow communication can be seen in terms of intentional communication - and vice versa. But at the end of the day, that's what it's all about-fraying. You tune into your partner's frequency, because you turn in the same direction with him, act in his interests and in a common direction with him. As a result, you get from a person what you could not achieve with the usual methods of inner
intention.
Relationship Energy
I have already mentioned beneficial visualization. Let me remind you that the essence of it is as follows. Suppose someone creates a problem, annoys you, attacks you. Or, on the contrary, you need to get something from a person. In this case, you should try to determine approximately what he is concerned about, what is eating him, what he may lack: health, confidence, mental comfort? You can be sure that everyone is oppressed by something, even to a small extent, especially if he creates a problem for you or, on the contrary, you create it. Now imagine a situation where this person gets what he needs.
For example, imagine him doing what he likes to do, when he feels pleasure, satisfaction, calmness, comfort. You don't have to think much about the beneficial scenario, visualize immediately any picture that comes to your mind. Suppose he is sitting in a chair by the fireplace with a mug of beer, with pleasure bathing in the sea, walking in a flowery valley, riding a bicycle, jumping for joy. If you manage to “please” him, a person for no apparent reason will sympathize with you and do what you ask, or mitigate the problematic situation.
. What happens here? About the same thing that happens when you watch a good movie. By a good movie, I mean a movie that carries a sense of celebration of life. You watch it, and you feel somehow light, pleasant, festive on your soul. So, a movie creates a celebration of the soul on mental and emotional levels. And beneficial visualization creates this holiday on the energetic level. If you managed to successfully tune in to a person's fraile and guess his needs, he will feel a wave of comfort.
The difference between mental and energetic holiday is the following: receiving an energetic delicacy, the gifted person feels comfort, but does not realize what caused it. But it is not important. The main thing is that the person feels comfortable just next to you.
Hence, his disposition is taken from here. It should be noted that beneficial visualization should be performed sincerely, connecting the aspirations of the soul and mind. If you manage to sincerely wish a person good, then the effect will be very tangible.
. As you know, it is the excess of free energy that makes a person charming, magnetic, strong, charismatic personality. People, often unconsciously, feel the strong energy of the personality. Depending on the softness or hardness of the radiation, the energetic personality is perceived as charming or strong. In any case, the strength of the radiation is proportional to the amount of free energy and the degree of unity of soul and mind. The excess of free energy pours out as a fountain on others, and they feel it. Free energy is modulated by human thoughts. The closer the aspirations of the soul and mind, the purer the modulation. It is not without reason that all strong personalities make an impression of inner completeness and integrity.
In general, as I have already said, charm is a mutual love of soul and mind. When the soul is freed from the case, the personality acquires attractive power. The attraction consists not in
power proper, but in the unity of soul and mind. This is just what people lack, so they are drawn to such a personality, like moths to the light. On the energetic plane charm manifests itself as a pure radiation of the unity of the soul and mind. If the power of energy fountains is large enough, the personality literally glows with unique charm. Charming personality lives in harmony of soul and mind, that is, in accordance with its credo. She is in a state of celebration of the soul, enjoys life and bathes in his love without the flavor of narcissism. This is the feeling of celebration and feel the people around them.
Such people are very few, but you can enter their number. To do this, you need to turn to your soul, love yourself and get on the path to your goal. In this case, not only personal qualities will change, but even the body will become attractive, the face is cute, and the smile is charming. On the target line, the appearance, that is, the decoration of the sector, will meet the parameters of radiation, in which you are satisfied with yourself. This is not as unbelievable as it may seem. If you don't believe it, look at your photos that were taken during a period when you had a black streak in your life.
By training your energy channels and increasing your energy, you develop extraordinary abilities to influence people and cause their favor. In general, to become the soul of society, it is necessary and sufficient to abandon importance and turn on your energy fountains. Personality with an excess of free energy always causes interest and favor of others. This is especially effective if the frequency of free energy is set in resonance with the frequency of thoughts of others.
. Let's assume that you, being in a collective or a company, are discussing a common topic together. The interlocutors have the frequency of mental emission tuned approximately to the same object, and everyone seems to be swaying in unison. Turn on your fountains, let them flood others with your energy. Feel your energy shell and feel how it expands and engulfs all participants. Then your remarks will carry much more weight. Those around you will feel the power of your thoughts.
When communicating with a partner one-on-one, you can start a beneficial visualization for him/her in your thoughts. If energy fountains work, you will make the most favorable impression on him. Such a technique gives a great advantage in situations where your personal charm and strength are required. You will have success in business negotiations, at exams, job interviews, in personal relationships.
Beneficial visualization tunes you to the frequency of the interlocutor in the most effective and tolerant way. Energy vampires tune in on the frayle by tapping into painful strings or climbing into the soul. But unlike them, you do not “paw” the fraile and do not take away energy, but on the contrary, you gift the person. He will certainly appreciate it and will be grateful to you.
Indulgence
If you know your shortcomings, which can prevent you from achieving your goal, and you believe that you do not possess some necessary knowledge and skills - accept it. Accept yourself for who you are. Allow yourself the luxury of having flaws and not having the necessary strengths. This will help a lot and bring relief and peace of mind. If you struggle with your shortcomings and try to hide the lack of the necessary qualities, they will definitely make themselves known during the crucial test. during the decisive test.
The rejection will definitely make itself known in the form of obstacles. You yourself will create obstacles.
Firstly, feelings of guilt and inferiority create excessive potential. Equilibrium forces will further aggravate the situation. Secondly, the external intention will certainly realize these fears. What you are trying to block will certainly be included in the scenario. For example, you will certainly be asked the question you fear. Or you will be asked to demonstrate something you don't know how to do. But most importantly, you will be attacked by stiffness or numbness at the crucial moment.
What is your free energy being used for? To maintain the excessive potential of importance, to fight against the equilibrium forces and to manage a situation that is rapidly getting out of control. The more importance you place on your shortcomings, the more fierce the resistance of the equilibrium forces. The tighter you tighten your grip on control, the stronger the pressure of the current of options, which is not going to stop at all. In the end, all the energy of intention is exhausted. What are you capable of doing in that state?
Imagine having to carry a piglet around with you all the time. It is breaking out, squealing, and you are constantly making efforts to hold it and calm it down. But now you let it go, and you immediately become easy and free. The energy that you previously spent to hold the piggy, now entirely at your disposal, and you can direct it to other purposes.
The comparison with a piglet is not as crude as it may seem. You can hardly hide your shortcomings. It is better to focus on your strengths. You can see for yourself how easy and free you will be when you let go and accept your shortcomings before the event where you have to show yourself at your best. It could be a job interview, an exam, a performance, a competition, finally a date. Remove your inner importance. Give yourself an indulgence (absolution) for your shortcomings and you will see that it is as if a stone has fallen from your shoulders - it is the excess potential that has disappeared and the energy of intention has been released.
Fighting with your shortcomings is a futile work of inner intention. It is the work of a fly hitting the glass. Eliminating the excess potential and freeing the energy gives you a tremendous advantage.
It is not without reason that the saying goes, “Eyes fear, hands do.” What's better? To be tormented by doubts, to flounder in your complexes, to lick yourself with desire, to hide your shortcomings and drool? Or just shake off all this stuff and calmly do the work of purified intention? If you can't shake off the importance, then you need to let go of the grip of controlling the situation and move from worry to action. Just start acting, at least in some way. It doesn't matter how - effectively or not so much. Allow yourself to act out of hand. The potential for importance will be dissipated in the process, the energy of intention will be released, and you will succeed.
Job Search
To conclude this chapter, I would like to demonstrate the principles of transurfing, including Frayling, on one applied question that is on everyone's mind. You have probably already read in various sources about how to write a resume and behave at a job interview. Perhaps from the following it will not be difficult to draw new useful conclusions for yourself.
To begin with, you will need to determine what kind of job is yours. Here you can rely entirely on the methodology of choosing your goal and door, so I will not repeat myself. You just have to remember that you have a real right to choose, and the possibilities are limited only by your own intention and level of importance. In the process of defining your job, do not think about its prestige, means of achievement and your shortcomings, but only about whether you really need this job.
Suppose there are doubts that there is room for such a good job that you have chosen for yourself. In this case, you should know that the pendulums will give you all the conditions for anxiety, disappointment and even despair. You should be aware of this and constantly reiterate that you have the right to choose, and if you have made an order, it will be fulfilled sooner or later.
In a dream your intention works instantly, but material realization is as inert as tar, so it takes time, patience and an unshakeable conviction that you have the right to choose. In a
bad restaurant you have to wait a long time for the waiter, but there is always the certainty of order fulfillment. So I advise you to use a slide like this: you make your own choices, determine what kind of job to have, and where it will come from is none of your business. In the space of options there is everything! It's the pendulums that try to indoctrinate the mind to the contrary. Your business is only to choose and have a firm intention to get the order.
Of course, if you do not have the opportunity to wait, you will have to be satisfied with what you have at the moment, I hope it is clear. But, once you get a job that provides a living wage, you can order the best and calmly wait for fulfillment.
If you like the work, but you feel some mental stiffness, carry a slide about how well you are doing this job, what pleasure and satisfaction it gives. If the stiffness doesn't dissolve over time, then it's mental discomfort. In that case it is worth trying other options.
Once you have identified your job, start spinning a slide in your head about how the goal
has already been achieved. At the same time, it is necessary, of course, not to sit back and do what is required of you. But, before you start writing your resume and preparing for the interview, you need to focus your intention in the right direction.
It would be a mistake to focus on the goal of being hired. The goal should be present in your thoughts like a slide in which you are already accepted and everything is behind you. Thinking about whether or not you will be accepted will inevitably create scenarios of failure. Think of the transfer chains. The first link is building your resume. This is where you need to focus your inner intention.
When writing your resume, list everything you know how to do, but only list one position for which you are applying. There are good reasons for this. First, by trying to show your willingness to do both, you are showing your insecurity and risking distrust of the employer, who will think that you agree to do any job, just to take. Second, by setting multiple goals for yourself at once, you spread yourself flat and your intention turns from a linchpin into an amoeba. Thirdly, when you take on too much, you build up excessive potential around yourself, and in the end you will get nothing at all. You can choose, but you must choose only one quality at a time. After all, when you choose one toy, you don't demand that it combine the qualities of a doll, a board game, and a gun, do you?
Determine who you really want to be, what kind of position suits you best. There is no need to be shy, after all, you are the one who chooses your job. Remember that you don't have to fight for a place in the sun - you have the right to choose. Specify exactly the profile you have chosen. Don't let it bother you that such a job may be in short supply. If you allow yourself to have, you will get exactly what you want. How it is realized should not concern you. Leave that concern to external intention.
When writing a resume, the internal intention is to show what a brilliant professional you are. External intention, on the other hand, is focused on what the employer wants. Can you feel the difference? Of course, everyone wants brilliant professionals. However, if you are new to job search, you will come to a complete bewilderment when the employer will prefer such a brilliant specialist with more modest merits.
The rival will beat you precisely because his parameters fit most accurately into the employer's idea of the position. But you do fit, and even more so! The thing is, this “more than that” creates a situation where the best is the enemy of the good. The employer is fully engrossed in his inner intention to find a specialist who meets the parameters he himself has set. That's why he breaks into the glass, not seeing such a wide and open aperture as you.
The mind is not able to anticipate the demand. He will strive to present you as a “masterpiece” in his mind. But the market dictates quite different criteria. You can and should strive to show yourself at your best, without exaggerating, of course. But, doing this, all your thoughts and motives directed to the problems of the employer. Constantly ask yourself: what he wants to get from you, what he needs. Put yourself in his shoes.
What you can do is very simple. Look through the vacancies of your profile, write out all the duties and required qualities of candidates. Make sure: in many ways they are repeated. From this total mass take everything that concerns you, adjust to your duties and qualities and get
what the employer wants to see on your resume. You can literally copy into your resume everything that the employer requires from this candidate. Trying to embellish yourself, do not express yourself in your made-up phrases, but in the language that the employer speaks.
Imagine that you are not a job seeker, and the employer, making an ideal resume of his employee. In that case, it will meet his criteria, not yours. But to do this, you need to look through a lot of job ads and “get into the skin” of those who give them. You can and should specify everything that you know how to do over and above what is required. However, you should emphasize and highlight exactly what is required. Your resume should sound a clear chord of the requirements of the employer.
Before you post your resume, for example, on the Internet, put yourself in the employer's shoes and look for resumes of professionals in your field. I promise you'll make quite a few discoveries for yourself and gain a huge advantage. The fact is that most job seekers, guided only by their inner intention, go straight to the job search sections and
post their resume. So, try searching for resumes of professionals in your position first. Imagine that you are the one choosing your candidate. Then you will see all the advantages and disadvantages of your competitors, learn what the employer feels when reading these resumes, and understand what you need to change in yourself.
Once the resume is written, it can be sent out to various companies. Don't just break down the door, let it open itself. That is, you need to offer yourself without insisting. Make them choose you. For example, publish your resume in various media. Do not pressurize the world with your desires and aspirations. Shift the center of gravity from finding a job to announcing your presence in the job market. As much as possible, let the job find you on its own. Never send the same resume over and over again. You need to respect yourself and know your worth. If you are an exclusive specialist, send your resume to recruiting agencies and quietly wait for the catch.
Do not count on an instant response. It may happen that you will have to wait a long time for the fulfillment of the order. It depends on the purity of your intention. If you have a desire burning bright flame, the equilibrium forces will hinder you in every possible way. Often the order is executed when the hope has already dried up. The more indifferent you are to your order, the sooner it will be fulfilled. the sooner it will be fulfilled. The absence of desire gives you the freedom to focus on the intention to act instead of worrying about possible failure.
Finally, you have been invited to an interview. Now you should be especially careful about the direction of your; intention. Thinking about what the job will get you will be a narrow-minded inner intention. Concentrating your thoughts on what you yourself will give to this enterprise will be an external intention. It's time to put the target slide out of your mind, turn away from yourself, and focus entirely on the needs of the employer. You should now be solely interested in its internal intent.
Learn as much as you can about the company from the flyers. Determine what the company is particularly proud of, what differences it emphasizes over its competitors. Make sure you understand this well and make sure you bring it up in the interview. Each company, like any pendulum, has its own resonant frequency. This frequency is characterized by many parameters. Determine the spirit of this company. What is their corporate ethics - strictly regulated or free? What is the accepted manner of communication - formal or friendly? What is more valued in attitude to work - enthusiasm and initiative or discipline and performance? Teamwork or individuality and creativity? And so on. All this imposes restrictions on employees, determines the style of their behavior and makes them members of the team. If you manage to get into the spirit of the company, you will be perceived as one of your own at the interview.
Before the interview, give yourself an indulgence for your shortcomings and lack of virtues. If you know your shortcomings, which can prevent you from getting a job, and if you know that you do not have some of the necessary knowledge and skills - accept it. Accept yourself as you are. Accept everything about yourself that you would like to hide and go to the interview calmly. There are no perfect candidates, just as there are no perfect employers, so it's safe to let go of internal and external importance. You have nothing to justify to yourself for yourself or anyone else. Of course, all this does not mean that you do not need to work on your shortcomings at all. But at the time of the interview it is absolutely necessary to allow yourself to have them.
Everyone knows that you can't be nervous at a job interview. Many people try to fight anxiety with the power of inner intention. But no matter how much you tell yourself that you are calm, no matter how much you persuade yourself not to worry - all to no avail. It is not possible to cope with anxiety, without eliminating its cause. Fighting anxiety can lead to numbness, when you behave like a mummy of an Egyptian pharaoh. The only way to get rid of excitement is to accept defeat in advance.
The desire to be accepted creates over-potential. The more importance you attach to a successful outcome, the more important it is to you to get the job, the less chance there is. It is necessary to clear the intention from the desire. You go to a job interview not to be accepted, but to be interviewed. Not to pass, but precisely to pass. Don't strive for
goal, but focus on the process. Live and enjoy the interview process. No one is going to eat anyone there, you have nothing to lose. This is a case where you need to relax and enjoy yourself. Set your mind to it. After all, a job interview is a great opportunity to show yourself in the best possible light. So allow yourself this bliss. You can let go of all thoughts that you may sit in a puddle. After all, you have already resigned yourself to defeat, so there is nothing to lose.
At a job interview, all the applicant's thoughts are aimed at showing himself in the best possible light. It's an internal intention. In what light can you show yourself in the best light? The external intention focuses on a genuine interest in the employer's problems. Only in the light of his problems can you be the best.
Your job is to constantly frame the conversation in the context of the employer's problems when answering questions. At the same time, you need to answer the questions clearly without ranting or sidestepping. The employer is very annoyed when the applicant does not answer the question specifically, but goes into lengthy explanations. But at the same time, as soon as you get the opportunity, touch on what the employer company does, what it is proud of, what its problems are. You need to build the conversation on this platform only. Your strengths should be presented in light of the company's problems. Talk to the employer the employer about their problems and how your professional qualities can help solve them. That will be the external intent. If you manage to move the conversation to the employer's problems, consider that the game is already going according to your scenario.
After all, if you couldn't get the job, then it's not yours. You don't know yet what problems you've gotten away from so easily and happily. Be calm, wait for your job and you will get it. However, if you are hired for someone else's job - expect problems. Therefore, it is better to look for your job, and how to do it, and you know yourself - the thought of work should not cause the slightest mental discomfort. This is the case when you go to work as a holiday.
Summary
Use people's inner intention to achieve their goals.
At the heart of inner intention is a sense of self worth.
You shouldn't try to change others, but you shouldn't try to change yourself either.
To behave at ease, shift your focus from yourself to people.
Play the game of increasing the importance of others.
To attract attention to yourself, it is enough to show interest in others.
In communication, a person evaluates not how interesting you are, but how you are suitable for
the realization of his own importance.
Being interested in people, do it sincerely.
External intention allows the internal intention of others to be realized. Give up the intention to receive and. replace it with the intention to give.
As a result, you will receive what you gave up.
Arguing and criticizing is the mind's struggle with the flow of options.
Refuse to engage in actions that strike at the other person's sense of worth. At the beginning of a conversation with a person, turn with them in the same direction along the current. Do not defend your mistakes, but consciously acknowledge them.
Take the role of a witness to someone else's rightness.
Showing genuine sympathy for a person removes the protective screen. Asking for a non-burdensome favor disposes you.
Beneficial visualization causes comfort on an energetic level. The strength of a person's influence is proportional to the amount of free energy. Charm is the mutual love of soul and mind.
Allow yourself the luxury of having flaws and not possessing virtues. The excess potential of inner importance dissipates in action.